Mother's Day Feature: Steffy and Kathleen

For Mother's Day, we invited Steffy and her daughter, Kathleen to experience tailoring a matching outfit together. It has been a joy meeting them each time for their consultation and fittings. We are grateful to see their Bespoke outfits come to life beautifully.

Being both a mother-of-two and a doctor, Steffy has to balance both work and family. As we continue to be inspired by incredible mothers, we wanted to know more about her point-of-view in being a working mum. We asked Steffy a few questions surrounding motherhood, and of course, about her lovely daughter, Kathleen. She shared with us the changes that she went through, her thoughts as a working mom, and the joy of being a mother!

How did you feel when you knew you were going to be a mother?  

It was both scary and exciting, yet I am very grateful.

What is your biggest happiness in being a mother?

It would be coming home to so much love! I have two little people that love me no matter what. I can be a terrible person at work, but when I come home, they will still love me all the same.

As a working mum, what were some of the challenges you had to face juggling between work and being a mum? How did you overcome these problems? 

Mum-guilt. I always question myself, am I working too much? Am I spending enough time with the kids? Should I really send them to childcare? On bad days, I question myself multiple times a day.

I am still overcoming mum guilt. It is not easy to not judge yourself and to not allow society to judge you too. It is important to know your priorities, make decisions based on that, and believe that your decision is best for the current situation.

I mean, it is only out of love that we question ourselves. Surely, that makes you at least a decent mum.

Did you ever feel like you had to give up your career to be a good mother? 

This implies that you can only be one or the other. I believe that pursuing our careers doesn’t make us a ‘bad’ mum, and ‘giving up’ our career doesn’t make us a ‘good’ mum either.

I never felt like I had to give up my career - it is just a career shift with different KPIs. I know my priorities well, and at this season of my life, my family needs me most. I am very blessed with a supportive husband and a job that allows me to strike a good balance.

How have you changed since before you become a mother? Was there anything that you had to let go of?

Ask any mum and we will show you our battle scars-gravitational force is real! Stretch marks and everything points to the ground.

Personal time for myself? My time is split between my husband, children, and patients. I am grateful for that precious 30 minutes before sleep where it is just me and for me. 

Working or not, you do not stop being a woman when you start being a mother. We all have our own hobbies or routines. Is there any activity that you do for yourself to bring you peace, or something that fills you up as a person?

I love sitting on my toilet with good music and trying new skincare products! A warm cup of coffee and date night without the kids are really nice too!

Could you share the relationship that you had with your mother? And what shaped you to be the mother that you are today?

My superhero mum. We are very close, but I feel like I understand her more now that I am also a mother. Suddenly all the nagging and scolding make sense. My mum is a fixer. She would always let me do things my own way, but when I am stuck, she is always around to help me fix things. I know that when my mum makes a move, everything will be okay. She should wear a cape.

Is there a message that you want to tell to all the mothers out there, or mothers-to-be?

Don't ever doubt your value and yourself! You are the right mum for your child. You know your circumstances and your children the most. As long as your decision is made out of love, it probably isn’t the wrong one.

Kathleen is very lovely, is there any joyful moments that you would like to share with us?

When Kathleen says, "Mummy I want to be like you," and then she will imitate the way I sit or move my hands. Doesn’t that make you feel special? She had said it a few times, and each time, it makes me ask myself, what is so special about me that someone like you would want to be someone like me? It gives me so much joy!

If you could describe Kathleen in 3 words, what would it be?

How can I describe someone so precious in just 3 words? Cheerful, kind, and LOUD.

What do you like the most about having a daughter?

Twinning outfits! We both love it! So thank you so much for adding this gorgeous set to our collection! Also, someone to help me use up the lipstick and toner that will otherwise take 5 years to finish.

When were you the proudest of your daughter?

The one thing I am so proud of is how good of a sister she is. She takes care of her little brother so well. At times when I pretend to be a big bad wolf, she would stand in front of Rey with outstretched arms and a weird frown. I sometimes wonder if she knows just how tiny she is.

What is one piece of advise that you want to tell your daughter as she grows up?

Can I just tell her something I want her to remember as she grows up?
Kathleen, you will always have a home with mummy. Go explore the world, do your thing, but when you need some rest, come. Mummy is here.

Thank you Steffy for sharing us beautiful words and stories about being a mother, and for allowing us to document your and Kathleen's journey in tailoring! Our team would like to wish you, mothers, mothers-to-be, and mother-like figures a Happy Mother's Day!

Steffy and Kathleen is wearing a matching Bespoke Dresses from Accent.

Photos by: @lensofmira